


lovely, lovely fragments

by jinfairy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Angel Yoon Jeonghan, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Anterograde Amnesia, Car Accidents, Gen, Hospitals, Light Angst, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Sad, Sad and Happy, Seventeen - Freeform, Short, Short One Shot, forgot, forgotten, i actually don't know how to describe this short thing, utter sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 18:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17064539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinfairy/pseuds/jinfairy
Summary: I wasn't supposed to see Jeonghan but the guilt was killing me.





	lovely, lovely fragments

They were right, he’s alive.

Sat comfortably on his adjusted bed and suited in his blue, silk pajamas was none other than Jeonghan himself. I never believed in marketed saints until I have finally confirmed he was still here—he was still breathing. They weren’t lying when they told me his mother called to tell that he successfully gone through a crucial surgery. I felt the heaviness in my heart being lifted but I wasn’t exactly prepared to see him just yet. I don’t think he should even see me in the first place. I wouldn’t even know what to say.

What will he say if he sees me like this?

If only his mother didn’t persuade my family to visit, I wouldn’t be able to get up from my bed and even, for the first time in weeks after the incident, leave my house and finally stood inside his room, smelling his familiar scent of mint and heavenly spring. There was a part of me that was excited to meet him once again but there was the other that was afraid of the consequences. I had thoughts of leaving the room but was stopped when I finally heard that voice of him seeping through my ears after his long absence and I knew it was too late to back out.

“Hello,” he said. “Who are you?”

My grip tightened onto the bouquet I almost didn’t remember holding before looking up to see him stare back with a blank expression on his face. His eyes, however, no matter how they were drooling in sweet caramel, were clouded with fright. I was trying my best not to think about his old blonde, shoulder-length hair. I was trying my best not to think that it was hidden within the bandage wrapped around his head. I was trying my best not to think that Jeonghan may never be the same after that night, but god, it’s difficult not to face reality.

To him, I was a stranger. To him, I was a nobody.

Nevertheless, I smiled.

“It’s me, Jeonghan-ah. Childhood best friend. Sand castle buddy. Pineapple enthusiast.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he eyed me skeptically before turning to his notebook that was placed onto his lap and as if the ink of his pen made him remember a certain memory, his face immediately brightened up.

“Hey! I’m glad you came to visit. How’s everyone?”

“They’re pretty busy in the shop but they wanted to give you something to _remember_ them by.”

He laughed, lighthearted and tender to the ears. “I get it. You’re still lame as ever.”

I plastered a smile on my lips as I walked closer to his bed side and replaced the wilting carnations with the one I brought which were tied, hand-picked daffodils from our flower shop. His mother mentioned that his friends from the dance club he’s also in were frequently visiting him for the past month before practicing for the competitions. He could remember routines and was having fun but he tends to repeat the exact stories everyday.

To him, it was like meeting a friend for the first time on a daily basis.

I began to ask, “Are you doing alright?”

“My head feels heavy and I can’t stand straight nor stand for too long.”

“You liked sitting down and sleeping a lot so this shouldn’t be new.”

He smiled. He remembered that part. He slightly lowered his bed by pushing a lever below him before laying his head onto his pillow. He then sighed. “It’s been weeks since I’ve been here. Are you willing to wait for me?”

I stared at him, confused. “What for?”

“As soon as I get out of here, I’m treating you out,” He looked at my direction. His eyes moved to the curves of my face as if observing my features after some time apart from each other. I felt something churning inside my stomach that I moved my head to the side out of embarrassment. “It’ll be a long time, though. They said I was in a serious incident that damaged my front _thing_ in my brain, whatever that is. You probably know it already.”

I could never tell Jeonghan that I’m not suppose to wait for anything. I intend to settle on the present where I’m only allowed to be one thing: myself. I wasn’t suppose to meet him again—not yet, at least. He must’ve seen the worried look on my face and placed his pale hand onto mine, assuring me that these thoughts would never hinder something I’ve been keeping inside. Even if I tell him, there’s a huge possibility that he won’t remember it as the new sun rises, not even with his notebook. He could never digest it as I have before.

“It’s a miracle you’re still alive,” I said in a quiet tone as I ran my other hand onto the side of his bandage, feeling the texture of the material. I stared at him sympathetically. Jeonghan shouldn’t had done it but I understood the reason behind such act. If he knew this was the path that he had sought from what happened that night, I could imagine him screaming and unable to process everything. He wouldn’t like being a miracle. But, this is him now. “Do you truly remember me or are you just saying it to impress me?”

“Me? Impress you? I don’t have to,” He lifted my hand and placed a soft kiss on one of my knuckles. My stomach churned again that I pulled my hand from his grasp and gently tapped his shoulder, earning a chuckle from him. “Maybe it’s because of this that I instantly knew who you are.” He pulled something from his notebook that I assumed to be his diary because of the dates and revealed an old photograph of us. I almost couldn’t breathe. It survived the crash. He must’ve placed it somewhere that was still with him.

“You’ve always kept it, huh?”

“It must’ve been important because the nurses said I wrapped it around my hand. I must’ve known what was happening if I thought of that myself but I couldn’t even remember what drove me to be in that position.” I remembered him calling that night while I was in the other room across mine, far from sober and a definite lunatic. It was a different side of Jeonghan that was screaming on the other line as the adrenaline kicked into his veins. I knew I ran that night. I couldn’t afford losing him too. I only have myself to blame for all of it.

I stared at Jeonghan who was reading his notebook, hoping for an answer to his puzzle-like memories. He was also writing about today, knowing he’ll forget about it soon. This side of Jeonghan was familiar but I’m never used to it myself and I’m afraid to ask something that might be the opposite result. I breathed in and asked, “Do you know my name?”

He glanced at me as if I was a fool for asking it. “Of course!” His smooth, slender fingers touched the side of my face. I winced from the contact but I stayed motionless. I suddenly know what he was going to answer when he smiled. That picture of the three of us in their backyard—that smile. That’s why it was familiar—it was his smile every time he saw _her_. “Aeri. Aeri-ah. That’s your name.”

_You remembered my twin who killed herself._


End file.
